Real Writers Write Every Day

At least, that's the advice given... almost all the time. And for the most part, I believe it to be true. But the thing is, you can't do it every day without burning out. It's like working every day. Or having a sculptor sculpt every day etc. The point is, you do it almost every day. The real question is "Why am I not doing this?" I mean, I don't even write every other day. Or most of the time, not even once a week. I keep telling myself I want to be a writer. I want to become a published author. I want to write. I keep saying I want to write. And just keep saying it. I go to writing conferences. I read about writing. But when it comes down to it, I simply don't write.

About a year and a half ago, I had a blog that I wrote either a short story, poem, a scene or chapter to a story every day. I think I missed like 3 days or something. And after about 100 days, I just... stopped. I started working full time while going to school with 15 credits and I had ZERO time for myself. I hated that I quit it. But I had lost all of my umph to write by the time I quit my second job. And since then, that umph hasn't returned.

In short, my get up and go had got up and gone. And it seems to never want to come back.

However, I'm going to try and break this curse. Whatever I can do, I will break it. This summer, I want to write, and I want to actually finish writing my book, and I want to edit through it and finally get through more than that mere first craptastic, awful draft.

Maybe, since I've announced it (...again...) I'll follow through this time.

random writing fact.

Sometimes I look at pictures to inspire me to write.

I'll find a scene of some sort of world and use it as my basis of what to write about for that part of the book.

And it's worked almost every time.

Bazinga.

(And yes, I did just quote Sheldon, without a prank. Sue me.)

What Am I Doing?!

I had a complete mental breakdown this week trying to figure out what I want to do with my fetching life. 

Seriously, it's awful being in limbo like this. 

I think I know what I want to do and then I start and then I run out of determination 20 minutes in.

It's awesome.

My options this week have been:

Mother

W R I T E R

photographer

Editor

marriage and family therapist

.....

And a whole list of other things, but those were thrown out almost immediately.

Like Scuba Diver. Or government agent.

These ones listed above actually stuck around for some small amount of time.

But I'm back at square one again.

Honestly, I wish I was just awesome enough to be a stay at home mom who wrote novels and edited them and photographed her cover art so I can manipulate it in post.

If only I were that cool.

I want to do these things, but I don't know how to get the determination to do so.

Or the confidence in myself that actually says, "You can do it, self!"

and "I believe in you!"

Because, well... I don't.

I'm going to have a pity fest now:

I don't think I'm much of a photographer.

I don't think I'm good at writing fiction (though I do love it and pretend I am).

I don't know how I'd fare as a psychologist.

I don't think I need schooling to edit things.

I don't know that I'd be that great of a mother.

(Honestly, the thought terrifies me and excites me all at once.)

And I don't know how to change any of that. 

Sigh. Maybe one day I'll actually figure out what I'm to do with my life.

After all, I want to get some kind of fulfillment out of living.

Is that really too much to ask, cyber space?