First Year. Happy Christmas.

Doug and I have spent an awesome year together doing all sorts of wonderful things. We celebrated our first anniversary over this holiday break, on December 27th! Sadly, we celebrated by being sick with the flu mixed with colds and an ear infection; not fun at all! Though, we did also spend the night up in Salt Lake City and got some pictures taken by the lovely Rebecca Mabey at effervescentmediaworks! :) I'll post those when they become available to me.

It's been an amazing year for us, with plenty of fun and struggles as well. We got to go to Disneyland with lots of our friends in May and were able to head to Europe with Doug's parents in August. It was fantastic to go back to Kyiv where I lived for 5 months and to see all the areas Doug served. We passed all our classes and we're well on our way to graduating! Me much sooner than him, but that's not the point really. We got to spend our first real Christmas together, which was blissful to say the least! Waking up at whatever time we felt like was great, and it was fun to see the excitement on Doug's face when he received his gifts :)

I had a lot of experience working with teenage/young adult girls with a plethora of problems ranging from mental disorders such as depression to borderline, sexual promiscuity to drug abuse. It opened my eyes to see all of the problems many people face, especially when they aren't given the support they nee in the ways that they need it. While I learned a lot from my time working in a group home and thensome, I had some interesting experiences as well, such as being attacked by one of my girls. It was a rough decision for me, but in the end I felt I needed to pursue other options and working experiences. Although I still enjoy helping those who I can with their disabilities and problems whenever I can.

My shop, The Nerd Niche, went crazy during the holiday season and I was able to pay for Christmas with the money I made and put a fair amount into savings; starting my Etsy shop has truly been a blessing that I hope to continue being able to do for years to come. I hope to expand in the coming months, and I'll be asking my friends and family member's help to get there! I'm praying you'll all be more than willing to help in even the smallest of ways. I have already started a facebook page, have plans for a Twitter account and have begun to design a blog as well in hopes of reaching people in other cyber spheres! I have over 50 item ideas waiting for me to churn out and bring to the public in the coming months. If you have ideas or wants, please let me know! I love finding new things and ways to create nerd like items for my geeky friends all across the globe!

I'm excited for what the new year will hold for us! I'll be graduating in April and I'm hoping that by the end of the year, I will be able to just work from home doing my business and continually expanding to newer and exciting things! It may be a long shot, but I think I can do it with the help of family and friends!

Happy Christmas and New Year everyone! May your celebrations me merry and bright.

Liebster Award...? Or Something.

My lovely friend Megan (Meghan? I just don't know how to spell her name anymore) tagged me in this. It was a flashback to Jr. High when we lived on MSN and emailed on Sunday's. The number of these personal question fill-er-outer things we did were ridiculous. Those 100 Reasons You're My Best Friend forwards? Yes, we did those. I see we're both still the same with our narcissism and it shall forever live on. Also, I love procrastinating, and I should really be doing homework, but I'm so stressed I simply don't care right now.

This is supposed to be for bloggers with less than 200 followers.  I have nine... so uh, you do the math!

Rules:

Each person must post 11 things about themselves.  

Answer the questions the nominator asked, 

and create 11 questions for your nominees to answer. 

Choose 11 people and link them in your post. 

Go to their page and tell them. 

No tag-backs.

(I'll be honest, I'm not going to nominate people, simply because most blogs I follow are well over 200 or they've already done this, and as it says, no tag-backs. But hey, why not answer the questions myself?)

11 Things About Me

1. I don't actually want to graduate in Family Studies next April. I didn't realize that until this last month or so that I definitely picked the wrong major and should have gone in the arts. Unfortunately that's not really an option any longer as I only have 11 credits left to graduate, only 6 of which are major credits...

2. I play a few instruments; piano, cello and violin. I'm not amazing at any of them, but I can definitely play a thing or two. Sadly I only own a violin, even though I prefer the other two. I miss the cello most.

3. I enjoy writing. A lot. I don't, however, enjoy being forced to write. College is the worst for that. And NaNoWriMo is killing me.

4. I am kind of obsessed with NCIS. I blame my mom, who introduced me to the show.

5. My dream job would be a writer, doing the art for the cover of my own book, and creating all of the trinkets/charms from said books to sell to the fans while dressed up in the costumes of how I pictured my "favorite" or more personable characters. Maybe one day.

6. I would love to do a Cosplay for Legend of Zelda, Avatar: The Last Airbender/Legend of Korra, Pokemon and Mistborn (half-check!). There are probably more, but I'm half asleep right now and can't think straight. Really, I aspire to be like Li, aka PikminLink. Her main site is pikminlink.com, but my favorite cosplay is this: 

So epic. This is cosplay at its finest.

7. If you couldn't tell, I'm a nerd at heart. Books, video games, TV shows etc. There's a reason I have a shop, called The Nerd Niche, over on Etsy. By the way, you should go check it out: http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheNerdNiche

8. I am a people pleaser. I don't like disappointing people who expect so much from me. But I'm ridiculously insecure and think I'm always disappointing someone. I'm pretty sure I always am. Let's just say there's a reason I'm graduating in Family Studies and not something else which is much more appealing to me. I would rather please others so much so that I'm doing that instead of following my dreams. Go figure.

8. I love doing my nails. Had you told me that 7 years ago I would have told you you're nuts. But it's become quite the hobby for me.

9. While I generally enjoy socializing with people, I really enjoy being alone more, most of the time. I like being able to do my own thing, snuggling up with my adorable husband, reading a good book or making new crafty and artistic things. Winter is great for these things. It's probably the only reason I "like" winter.

10. I have found recently that I get frustrated with others very easily. I get tired of people who get defensive quickly for things that aren't a big deal and attack others unnecessarily and like being trolls.

11. I get hurt very easily. Contrary to a lot people's thoughts about me, I'm not actually strong-willed at all. I just don't like blowing up on people if I can help it. Little (even slightly) negative comments stick with me for a very long time and I let it fester and grow and destroy me. It's a problem. I'm working on it. 

Meg's Questions:

Do you ever wear socks to sleep? 

Sometimes. Frequently in winter. Every other season? Never.

If you could do anything right now, what would it be?

Drop out of school, become more active on Etsy and business savvy, do cosplay's and be a mom.

What is your most irrational fear?

Spiders. And heights. Neither are completely irrational though, right?

What do you wish you could make money doing?

Writing , arts and crafts.

What truly seduces you?  (eg: poetry, a man playing guitar, gifts, etc.)

A genuinely happy and nice man.

What color of nail polish do you always come back to?

I don't really have a color. Design though, would be galaxy nails. So I guess black.

If you could spend the day with any famous individual, who would it be?

Mark Harmon, aka Leroy Jethro Gibbs from NCIS. Or the Hemsworth brothers.

What is the story of your biggest heart break?

My boyfriend broke up with me because his best friend didn't like me in high school. He ended up dating me again 6 months later and eventually marrying me anyway. Gratefully. His best friend also doesn't hate me anymore (bonus!).

What is your guilty pleasure T.V. show?

One Tree Hill. I hate you and love you all at the same time. 

What do you hope your life will be like in ten years?

I'll be a mom of some wonderful kids, working from home doing nerdy things and living at least some of my dreams.

Do you eat fast or slow?

Medium? I don't think I'm either really. Depends on who I'm with.

That's all I got. I guess I should post my own questions for the random people who decide to follow my lead.

What's your favorite band?

What is the best gift you ever received?

What is your most embarrassing moment?

What are the 5 most played songs on your iPod?

What is your biggest pet peeve?

When was the last time you just meditated?

Who is your favorite author?

What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

If you could do anything, knowing you wouldn't fail, what would it be?

What's your favorite sugary substance?

What social media do you prefer most?

That's all I got. I really need to go to bed now. 

The Power of God's Love

Over the last few months I have found myself struggling greatly, in school, at work, in my personal life-- especially spiritually. For six months and for my internship, I worked with troubled at-risk teenage girls who all had behavior problems, and most of them were sex offenders too. Though, as a child, most were also offended upon as well.

To say these girls were hard to work with wouldn't be saying enough. There were many nights when I would come home bawling because of what happened at work that day. There was always so much negativity, cussing, bad mouthing, drama and too little common sense, common courtesy and common decency. Though I guess that most of them don't even know what the latter things even are. And I think that, for me, that was one of the biggest problems. I was working with girls, trying to help them actually become something in their lives and not revert back to what they had been, using drugs and alcohol etc.

After 5 months, I no longer could see how I was effecting them. There was only one girl who truly listened to me in ways I could see and I honestly lost hope in most of the 16 girls. But this wasn't the biggest problem.

I had lost hope in myself.

By the time Summer Term at BYU ended at the beginning of August, I had changed. I began to act as many of the girls; angering easily, cussing all the time, always agitated at everything, frustrated with everything. To be perfectly honest, it isn't just having the desire to change that would do the trick; I would know, I tried that for two months. It got so bad that even for General Conference I wasn't as excited I usually was and that was saddening for me. It wasn't until I committed to make myself better, read my scriptures, pray again, hold family home evening with Doug that I started to change.

The power of God is strong. It is the thing that can heal any of us, however small or big our trial may seem or actually be. Over the last 6 months I had forgotten this. I forgot what it was like to have the Spirit of God with me at all times, to have that comfort and peace within myself. I realize now that that is what those girls were missing. They were missing that continual reminder that no matter what, whether their family loved them or not, or even when they didn't love themselves, there is someone out there that loves them and adores them because he is their literal father. I've come to appreciate that love so much more now that I am actively seeking His hand in my life.

The Nerd Niche: An Etsy Shop

Hey folks! It's been months, I know. I'm working on it. I have about 5 blog posts waiting right now. They've all been on the back burner. But in the meantime I have some other great news. Some of you may have heard this from my facebook page, but I've opened up an etsy shop! Located here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheNerdNiche

Go check it out. Tell your friends. Christmas is coming up, and these are some great gifts for nerds, geeks and bookworms!

Also please go check out my facebook page too. Like it and share it! I want the word to get out, and share my talents with people. Go social networking! https://www.facebook.com/TheNerdNiche

not enough.

Chances are, none of you have actually seen One Tree Hill, or the episode this comes from. But that's beside the point. This is exactly how I feel right now.

Not good enough.

Not smart enough.

Not pretty enough.

Not skinny enough.

Not talented enough.

Not spiritual enough.

Simply not enough. Never enough.

And I don't know how to change that. But I feel completely stuck inside myself and unable to set myself free. I feel like I did 7 years ago, and that's definitely not something I ever want to relive.

I Miss You

I miss you guys sometimes. Don't get me wrong, my life has been essentially drama free (with a few mishaps) ever since I cut ties with you last year. Yes, it makes me sad when I think about high school or see these pictures, but that's only because we're not who we used to be. You've all changed, some of the things you've changed are ridiculous and everything you said you always hated and gave us crap for (video games, for one...) but other things are more life changing than that. And friendship changing. To the point where our friendship had to change.

Yes, I miss you. Some more than others. And some days more than others. I miss acting like idiots and acting like fools because to us, that was being cool. No one knows why, because looking back on it we really were just idiots. But those times are some of the best memories I've got. Some days I miss you. We did some weird stuff and we had some good times. But things have changed. I have changed, and for the better. I stick up for myself like I never did before. You taught me a lot, because I wasn't always happy then but at least I'm happy now.

Procrastination

I am its Queen. A large portion of it isn't my fault this time though. I don't know when stuff needs to be turned in, or what for that matter. I also don't know what I'm even supposed to do for my internship, still have next to no information on it and I just have a lot of idiots as professors this term. Oh how I wish I could withdraw...
In the mean time, enjoy these wonderful pictures about procrastinating, simply because that's all I'm doing now.

Yup. That's basically how I'm feeling right now.

Vague-booking and Tweetseeking

Probably 2 of my biggest pet peeves. If you don't want people knowing about it, don't post it. If you're just going to say, "I don't want to talk about it," why did you say anything about it in the first place? My gosh. So annoying. Try getting some real attention from people instead of grasping and pathetic straws from people you (probably) don't even know very well. Because if they're actually good friends with you, you could simply text them or call them and ask for help. Or to rant. Or vent. Heaven forbid.

Haley & Jared

I've been friends with Haley for a couple of years now. When we met, we both had missionaries and we were waiting for their return. Jared was in England, and I heard about him frequently. Now that he's returned just a bit ago, they're getting married! In August. Which means it's crunch time for them, similarly to how it was for when Doug and I were getting married. I had the opportunity to take their engagement pictures. Jared actually proposed officially in the middle of the shoot, and it was the most adorable thing! These two are ridiculously cute. This is just a sneak peek, but I'll post some more later. Congrats Haley and Jared!

Frustrations

I seem to have a lot of these lately. It seems like everywhere I turn, there's another one and it never seems to end. Work has become a disaster and I get next to no hours anymore. If it wasn't summer, I would be fine with only getting 16 or so hours a week. But when I don't do anything most days... it becomes problematic. Extremely problematic. So then I need to find a new job. Except I still have to keep this one because it is supposed to be my internship. So I just need to find a second one. And good luck with finding a job that will hire you for just 2 months. In other words, I'm kind of hosed.
Next up, there's the fact that I can't even seem to get this job to be an internship. Everything keeps getting in the way. And it doesn't help that I just recently got a new boss. Who doesn't know anything about the internship... Sigh. And the problem is that I would love to get a new job because this one is starting to get a little crazy, but I need it as my internship. The issue now is that BYU is having serious issues and isn't letting my submit my application. My adviser tried telling me I already submitted an application months ago, but I know I didn't. And now I'm stressing out because today is the add/drop deadline which includes getting this internship done. So I'm FLIPPING out.
Stress? Too much of it. I want out.

Red and Dark Brown

A lot of people prefer long hair. Especially females, it seems, though frequently men will comment on how they prefer women with long hair as well. So it might seem weird for me to say I hate it. Not on other people, though. Just on myself.

This was my 2nd to last year of EFY. It was a good year. It wasn't for my hair. Though, I must say, it's doing better things than my hair in other pictures at this time period. The point is, I just don't like it. I don't like having to do my hair and spend WAY too much time on it. I also don't like how it looks when I do do (yeah, I said it. Laugh.) it, most of the time. So I decided to chop it off.

Chop off a few inches, add some dark brown and red and there you have it.

I like it a lot :) 

Batman for the Win

This picture just made me ridiculously happy. So I must share it.

Disney-fied

So I've started about 5 different posts between today and the last post. I promise, I'll do better from here on out. Today, I'll leave you with this:

I've been Disney Princess-fied and it's pretty awesome.

And here's my prince:

You can go to AzaelaDolls.com and do it yourself :)

Yes, I know my prince (husband...) looks pretty familiar to a particular Hero of Time with blonde hair...
So I like a man in green. Sue me. :P